 His legacy |
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Continuing the path of life
Hi my angel. How's the soaring? Hope you are behaving. Don't cause too much trouble up there! Mommy met with a lovely doctor today. He is going to take care of me and your sibling when mommy is pregnant again. Daddy and I are trying to give you a brother or sister. We are ready to give life to another miracle. I could even be carrying a little one right now but we don't know yet. We have to wait and see. If I'm not then we will keep trying. You are always in my thoughts and deep in my heart. Send us your blessings and watch over your baby brother/sister. Make sure that this little one is healthy and safe. We look forward to getting the chance to see you in this new life, for this next one is so much a part of you. I love you, my precious sweet baby boy. Always remember that you are never forgotten. Love, Mommy
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My Mom Is A Survivor
My mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But, like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven's door, I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom...through heaven's open door
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden that she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says, no matter what she feels
My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal. ~ Kaye Des'Ormeaux
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Homesick
You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now ~ MercyMe
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Cuddled In Heaven
We had so little time to share, too soon, I had to leave.
I know how much you love me, I know how much you grieve.
I know how sharp your pain is, I feel the aching in your hearts.
My life so quickly ended before it barely had a start.
I remember how you held me, and kissed my face and hands,
You cuddled me so gently: but God had other plans.
I was your perfect angel, from God you knew I came.
Suddenly he called me home again, and now God holds my hand.
I know you'll always miss me, I understand your pain is hard to bear.
Just remember that I'm in heaven and we'll se each other there.
So smile when you think of me and wipe away all of your tears.
I'm cuddled now in heaven by our family members here.
I'm waiting here in heaven, and on the day we meet again
I'll be the first to smile and greet you when God calls you home to Him.~Charlotte Collins
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Nights are long without you, the days are never ending
I lie awake in the early morning hours, listening to the sound of nothing. I hold my breath, hoping and praying a cry I will hear to break the deafening silence. My prayers and hopes fade with the darkness. No cries are there to be heard. I open my eyes and look all around searching for a sight of you. I wish to see your bassinet next to the bed with you curled up, sleeping and dreaming. My wish is stripped away as I see nothing but shadows where you should be. I close my eyes and think of you, wanting to hold you again. I know this is futile, me thinking these things but mommy is missing you so! My nights are long, my days are hard, the tears fall from my eyes. Please, dear one, send me a sign so that my heart can find peace again. I love you my child, precious and dear. I pray that you feel my love. I send it up to you every minute of every day. You are my love and my life. Forever you will be my firstborn son and I will remind the world that you were here! Love, Mommy xoxoxo
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Qoute from Kahlil Gibrain, Songs of the Soul and of the Heart (thank you Fiona)
"I cleansed my lips with the sacred fire to speak about love,
But when I opened my mouth I couln't speak.
Before I knew love, I sang love songs,
But when I came to know love, the words stayed mute in my mouth,
And the melodies in my chest fell into a profound silence."
"Tell me nevertheless, what is this flame which burns in my chest,
Which consumes my strength and scatters my hopes and my desires?
What are these hands, light, gentle, attractive...
Which constrain my spirit in these lonely hours,
And pour into the vase of my heart a wine mixed with bitterness and joy,
gentleness and suffering?
What are these sings shich flap above my bed in the long silence of the night,
So that I stay awake looking for - I don't know what;
Listening for what I cannot hear, looking at what I don't see;
Reflecting on what I don't understand, and holding onto that which I do not have."
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Searching For My Son
Everywhere I look, there he should be. But no where is he, not to see.
When it's quiet, I lesten but no sounds of crying I hear
No cooing, no sucking, my tears are so near
I wait for a sign every minute, every day. But they only come in their own little way.
His smell I detect on the puppy he had, I breath in deep but still I feel so sad
When will the joy of life return? Living life, I will have to re-learn!
I find comfort with you, my friends who travel the same road
We share so much, we all bear the same load.
Thank you God, for giving me joy
Thank you for my sweet, precious boy!
May 20th, 2006
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What Makes A Mother
Though this was written by someone else in memory of her son, it so speaks to my heart and soul.
I thought of you and closed my eyes and prayed to God today,
I asked him, what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say...
A mother has a baby this we know is true
But God, can you be a Mother when your baby is not with you?
Yes you can, he replied, with confidence in his voice.
I give many wonem babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, others for a day,
And some I send to fill your womb but htere is no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God, I want my baby here.
He took a breath, cleared his throat and then I saw a tear,
I wish I could show you what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile with other children and say...
We go to earth to learn our lessons of love, life and fear
My mommy loved me so much I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom, who had so much love for me,
I learnt my lessons very quick my Mommy set me free,
I miss my Mommy so very much, but I visit her each and everyday,
When she goes to sleep, on her pillow there I lay,
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad, I'm your baby and I am here.
So, my dear sweet, your children are OK,
Your babies are in my home and here is where they will stay.
They will wait with me until your lessons are through,
And on the day that you come, they will be at the gates,
Waiting for you.
So now you know what makes a Mother, YOU.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of right from the start.
Though some may not realize until their time is done,
Remember all the love you had
And know you are a special MOM.
(This poem was written by Jennifer Wasik, in loving memory of her son Zachery)
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The Room In My Dreams
Mommy never had a chance to set up your room. Another dream unfulfilled. It saddens me to know I'll never see this room set up for you, my firstborn son. In my dreams, I see it, though. What a happy, uplifting sight!
There sits the crib, sheets a baby blue, with a mobile and toys set out with a love so true! Winnie-the-Pooh blanket folded down with care, ready to cover baby's skin so bare. There's the rocker across the room , to be used morning and night and even at noon. Look over there beneath the window so high, there stands a table for changing your diapers, how my heart sighs. All over the walls I've decorated for you, there's Piglet and Owl and, of course, there's Pooh. I've laid out a soft, plushy rug, for us to play, giggle, and laugh and share our hugs. And listen to the music so softly play, oh how it says all that I wish, dream, and pray! Now let's peak in the closet where all your clothes hang, the thought of this causes my heart much pain. That closet it holds the little I own of the future I dreamed of, I cry and moan. My sweet son this room is all for you until the time our children become two. Then you can help my dream become new!
Written July 7th, after rearranging furniture in his nursery. I needed to free some space where his crib would've gone. Doing this inspired the poem above.
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Mommy's Wish List
If mommy was given one little wish you know what I'd say? "I wish for one little thing, not big at all. My wish would be sweet and pure and full of love. I wish for my baby son..." That's all I'd say, no need to say more. For if granted that wish, the rest would surely come true.
I wish I could see you smile
I wish I could hear you cry
I wish I was given a chance to be the best mommy. I surely would try!
I wish I could see you open your eyes from a sound peaceful sleep
I wish I could watch you breath
I wish I could hold your hand
There's so much that I need!
I wish I could see your arms flail about and feel your grasp again
I wish I could see you kick and a kiss from me I'd send blowing your way each and every day!
I wish I could see your head turn
I wish I could feel you suckle for milk
I wish I could tough and caress your sweet skin make purely of silk
I wish to hold you in my arms so tight, rocking you gently to a sweet lullaby
I wish you could hear me say I love you as I lay down each night!
I wish all this and so much more but each would come true if only I could be granted one little desire. Please give me my son. Let me raise him, take care of his needs. Then when I'm gone, take him where his path may lead - straight to heaven's gate!
June 14th, 2006
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Mother's Day Poem: My Angel Above
My angel above did you hear mommy today?
Did you hear me cry, did you hear me sing?
My angel above are you flying high?
Smiling and feeling mommy's love?
My angel above did you see the tears
flow down my cheeks to the land below?
Do you know it's mommy's day because you were born?
Do you know how I treasure each moment we were given?
My angel above I see you smile.
I just close my eyes and there you are.
I see you kicking and flailing your arms.
I hear your laugh, I hear your cry.
Mommy knows, my angel above,
that you are happy and at peace again.
I felt you grow, I felt your life,
I saw you move, and felt you grasp my finger so tight!
You opened your eye, my angel above,
and looked at your mommy, her heart
melting with love!
Our time together was precious, so pure.
Mommy will always hold on to the love we have
and never will I forget my little Angel Above!
Dedicated to my precious son, Donald Zeraihi Wellman, My Angel Above
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My Beautiful Baby Boy
My beautiful baby boy, an angel in the sky.
You will always be with me, my son,
deep within my heart. You were taken
so soon, I don't know why, but he bond
we have will keep us near, never will we part!
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